This is more of a stream of consciousness post. Obviously, my consciousness lacks brevity. I have been keeping this list of things I’ve been learning over these last nine months while in recovery from well, my life. While I know the list will continue to grow as I grow, I felt like I should share what I’ve learned so far. With an unapologetic 3000+ words, clearly, I’ve been learning a lot. Don’t be intimidated. Just read and digest what you can. If this is not for you, feel free to pass it by. I’m a believer in writing what I need to read so I’m guessing someone else out there needs to read this too. If not, that’s fine. It’s been good for me to log my recovery progress in this way.
A prayer for my unfaithful husband? I’m sure you’re wondering why I am praying for my husband who chose to betray our marriage covenant. Honestly, sometimes I wonder the same thing.
Infidelity in marriage is such a complex form of pain and trauma. Everyone’s story is different and deep no matter what the circumstances of the betrayal are. All stories of marital infidelity, at least the ones I’ve come across, come with a thick layer of anger that relentlessly bubbles to the top. While anger is a prominent feeling when we’re wounded, it is not the root feeling. Anger ignored, no matter the root, will turn to bitterness and bitterness steals our peace.
Some of you avid readers who look at this list might think, “only 40??”, but those who know me know that reading 40 books (36 completed and 4 to finish before the clock rings in 2019) is probably more than I’ve read in my entire former life. And in ONE year? Inconceivable!
I gave up sending Christmas cards years ago. I tried for a long time but it came to feel too much like an obligation. Sending Christmas cards takes so much time and is hard on the budget. And for something that would probably get tossed when the Christmas décor came down? Nah, not worth it. Cards and stamps are not cheap!
I love getting Christmas cards, though, so if anyone sends me one, know that they don’t get tossed. I keep them and on years when I can keep track of them in the middle of moving from place to place, I keep them out, rotate them off and on and pray for each person or family who sends me one. This is not the point of this post but I did want to acknowledge all you do-gooders out there. Your efforts are not wasted on me. I know there was sacrifice involved. I wouldn’t be offended in the future, though, and I would actually applaud you if you chose chocolate for yourself instead of a stamp for me.
By Georgette Beck
What is transition? Merriam-Webster defines transition as a “passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another” and as it relates to music; “a musical passage leading from one section of a piece to another.”
No one is exempt from experiencing transition. Growth occurs from a transition in all realms of our life. We progress through mental and physical development as we pass through the various stages of our lives. We transition from losses suffered and from blessings gained. Transition in and of itself is not meant to be a bad experience. The transition is a necessary component of what comes next.
I need to tell you something. I’m coming to you vulnerable, emptying my heart in hopes that it will fill yours. When it (the thing I need to tell you) happened recently, I knew it was a hug from God that had to be shared. My hope is that this piece of my story that has been private for seven years of September 3rd’s will encourage you as you wait on the Lord even when He seems to be moving at a snail’s pace.
JJ Heller’s song, Braver Still, is playing as I hit “publish”. I know this is not a coincidence.
Today is my 51st birthday. Happy? Some of it has been. It’s been a weird one. A reflective one. And even a bit of a sad one. 51 greets me with a measure of pain and an unknown future like I never could have imagined. But it also ushers in great joy from the good parts.
“Nous prenons le mal pour le bien.” or “We take the bad for the good.” I learned that in Paris earlier this year and I’ve taken it to heart. The bad things that come can be overpowered by the good in my life. Honestly, some of that is the power of positive thinking but mostly, I really do believe it to be true.
For several years now, I have worked my way through the book, A Clearing Season, by Sarah Parsons during Lent. I’ve never finished it. Maybe one day I will. But in one particular reading, in one particularly hard season of my life, I read this:
“’Thy will be done’. These may be the most revolutionary words we will ever say. Saying them can change our orientation to life: we put our little boats into a great stream and drop our oars. We lose a bit of our old control over things; we clear the space and allow God to fill it, agreeing to tend whatever growth God engenders.” ~Sarah Parsons, A Clearing Season
If you’ve ever been through a season when pain, loss, and grief seem to overtake your mind, body, and soul, you are probably like me and ultra-sensitive to certain questions. Anyone requesting anything of you can seem judgmental and/or condemning, and can also add to our already teetering juggling act. If you’ve been on the other side of the coin and you love someone who is hurting, your sincere desire to help could actually add to their pain. Sometimes, albeit with heartfelt intentions, we ask the wrong questions and sometimes we ask the right questions the wrong way.