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Healing Resources for Betrayed Wives

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Healing Resources for Betrayed Wives

I’ve compiled a listing of trusted resources and information from my personal betrayal trauma healing journey. This is not an exhaustive list by any stretch. I wanted to include a few things mainly for a wife who is at the beginning or early stages of her path to healing. These are all things I needed early on as well as a few newer options that I wish I would have found sooner. A couple of the resources I share have “sexual addiction” in the title or description. While addiction may not be the case in every husband’s story, I found the information in these resources to be beneficial in my healing journey.

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Salvation Stories – A Series {Evelyn’s Story}

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Salvation Stories – A Series {Evelyn’s Story}

(Editor’s note: This is a part of the Salvation Stories blog series. If you would like to share your salvation story, visit “share your story” for more information.)

It was May 1983 and I was 21 years old. My boyfriend asked me if I wanted to attend church with him the following weekend. I was madly in love with him I said yes. I was nervous as we walked up the steps on the beautiful sunny day to attend the service. I had not been to church since I was a child. I don’t remember what the minister was saying but I sensed the Lord near and He spoke to me and I replied in my mind and heart to Him. 

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The Difference Between Expectations and Hope

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The Difference Between Expectations and Hope

 

 

 

 

 

Listen to an audio recording of this blog post here:

Disclaimer: I wrote this for a talk I presented to wives healing from marriage betrayal trauma. I am posting it as I gave it for us and others who are on this same journey. However, the crux of the message can apply to everyone who struggles with expectations and longs to find a better way.


Expectation:
a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
Hope: a desire for a certain thing to happen. A feeling of trust.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 NIV

I come by my ability to set high expectations naturally. It was the culture of my family and the church environment I grew up in. Now, whether they did that on purpose or not, I don’t know, I’m guessing they didn’t. But still, placing high expectations on myself and others is in my DNA. Hope, on the other hand, is not something I’m good at. But it is everything I’ve had to learn in order to survive these last few years.

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Pain Prompts a Process (and that’s a good thing!)

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Pain Prompts a Process (and that’s a good thing!)

 

 

 

 

 

Listen to an audio recording of this blog post here:

I’ve spent the bulk of my life doing my level best to avoid pain. I’m simply not a fan of it. The thought of experiencing physical or emotional pain flips my fight or flight switch on in a clock tick. Somehow along the way, I developed super-Spidey senses that alert me to incoming pain and I get busy to head it off at the pass.

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Salvation Stories – A Series {Andrea’s Story}

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Salvation Stories – A Series {Andrea’s Story}

 

 

 

Listen to an audio recording of this post here:


Church

Some of my first memories are from being at church. I’m sure I left teeth marks on those rickety, nursery cribs. Besides my immediate family, the church family was the community setting I knew and one which grew to be comfortable. It was familiar from the very beginning—a second home.

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Calming Resources During Times of Confusion, Crisis, and Chaos (a list)

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Calming Resources During Times of Confusion, Crisis, and Chaos (a list)

I have approximately 1023 posts that I’ve begun to write and not finished sitting in my Drafts folder. Okay, that’s a slight exaggeration, but there are many. I feverishly peck away at the keyboard as a new idea comes in a futile effort to process a thought before it gets hijacked by my emotions. The dots don’t connect so there they sit longing for the light of day.

I’m guessing I’m not the only one who’s having trouble completing a sentence right now and begging for bullet points. That’s been the case for me, anyway. My brain is foggy so a list it will be.

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Why We Can Turn Our Parenting Worries Over to a Trustworthy God

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Why We Can Turn Our Parenting Worries Over to a Trustworthy God

 

 

 

Listen to an audio recording of this blog post here:


{In these days of uncertainty and worry with COVID-19, I have made slight edits to this post which was originally published at The Courage. I pray it encourages parents with children of all ages. I know worry comes but I also know it comes from a place of love.}

The nurse says to me: “You’re pregnant.”
I think: “Breathe, Andrea.”
I also think: “Now what?”

In the early 90’s, pregnancy tests weren’t known for their reliability and I couldn’t afford one anyway. So, to save time and money, I went to my doctor’s office on my lunch hour to confirm what I believed to be happening inside of me.

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A Prayer for My Missionary Children

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A Prayer for My Missionary Children

Heavenly Father,

My children’s hearts are yours. I know this. You know this. They desire to follow you wherever you lead them.

Lord, you know that when I was a teenager I strongly felt your call to global missions. I sought that path but it never materialized–not in the way I envisioned, anyway. I married and became a mom to our three children. I served my personal mission field as best I knew how through my family, church, and community. Although I was convinced of your calling, the desire of my heart for foreign missions remained a longing unfulfilled.

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Will you choose well with me in 2020?

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Will you choose well with me in 2020?

Many years ago, I was visiting my grandmother in the home where she was being taken care of for advanced-stage Alzheimer’s. By this time, she was withdrawn, had zero short term memory, and didn’t know who anyone was. At one point of the visit, our mostly one-sided conversation lulled and to fill empty space, I said with a sigh, “Well?” In an extremely rare ‘sharp as a tack’ moment, she stoically and cleverly replied, “Deep hole in the ground.” My eyes widened, I chuckled, and wondered how in the world that bubbled to the top for her.

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The Day I Got Married

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The Day I Got Married

31 years ago today, on the day I got married, I was 21. There was a lot I didn’t know. A lot! I look back now and can see just how utterly clueless my 21-year-old self was about life, love, and marriage. I’ve heard it said that love is blind and that perhaps it’s good that it is for no one would ever marry.

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