This blog isn’t even a week old yet and I’m already doubting myself and its creation. As I dig around and read other blogs and visit sites and facebook pages that inspire me and thousands upon thousands of others I realize again and again that there are so many out there with way better stories and abilities to tell them than me.
Am I just adding to the noise here?
Are the people who “liked” the facebook page or read these posts just doing it because they feel obligated?
Do I really have something to say that’s of any value?
Why did I do this? In this blog’s very first post I told the story of the why. I knew I would doubt. I knew I would need a place to go back to confirming what God told me to do. I’m confident that God told me to do this. There may not be a need for anyone out there to read my stuff but God knew I had stuff to write. My story to tell. So He gave this outlet to me. I’m anxious to see what He does with it. I hope it becomes something more. I hope it becomes a community where others are encouraged to empty and be filled and to take masks off and tell their stories. But I will also be very ok if in a year there are only 8 views (or less) a day. I know I’m sharing my heart, His heart, and I know He wants me to do that. And He wants me to do that here. With others or with just Him.
I’ve caught myself several times wanting to push a post or write something catchy on the facebook page to maybe help promote it but fortunately I’ve caught myself. If anything I do encourages or inspires someone else to take steps toward the cross then that is a HUGE bonus. I want that. I really do. But it has to be God’s thing. This cannot feed my control freak nature. It just can’t. God started it and I must let Him do it.
Let’s go back up to that first sentence I wrote… “I’m already doubting myself and its creation”… Yes, I ‘m doubting myself but I can’t doubt my Creator. He’s always been faithful.
Lord, this is yours. Your space. Your words. Your thing to do with what you will. I know it only took me about 5 days to get it back into my greasy littles palms but I’m giving it to you again. I want You to have it. I really do. You can do such a better job with this than I could. Thy will be done.
Empty. Fill. Repeat.
P.S. Did I mention that I’m insecure to my very core? Did I mention that my brain never turns off? Didn’t have to, did I? haha! Empty. Fill. Repeat…