I know I’m not thirty years into the mom thing. I’m new at it and some of you may read this and think I’m naive and dumb but I’m writing it nonetheless. It’s too heavy on my heart not to write. Maybe this is harder to put into practice than I am making it out to be and I guess if I’m totally off-base you can come back later and say I told you so…
The last few days in social media have left me with a heavy heart. If you haven’t seen all of news articles, Facebook posts, and tweets about the Duggar family and their oldest son yet, I’m impressed you’ve made it this long. Congratulations on staying out of the social media craziness…I wish I had missed this one.
I first read about all of this yesterday and didn’t think much of it at the time because the news articles were so new and not from sources I trusted. As the day went on more and more was posted and the day ended with my laying in bed reading about it all. The more I read, the heavier my heart grew.
I’m not writing this post to tell you my thoughts on the Duggar news. I’m not writing this post to judge them or tell you what I think they should or shouldn’t have done. I don’t know their full story and I won’t pretend to.
I’m writing this post because as I laid in bed last night all I could think about was how I wanted to protect my son from all of this.
As I read the back and forth on multiple social media fronts last night I couldn’t get past how many people were being so judgmental. How in the world could we really be so quick to judge when we don’t even know the truth from the lies? We are trusting fickle and biased Facebook and Twitter to tell us what someone did over a decade ago and in turn feel it is our right to pass judgement.
I can’t be okay with that. And I don’t want
my child to be okay with that either.
I want to teach my son to love others. I want to teach him to err on the side of grace. It saddens me to realize how much more prevalent all of this will probably be as Owen grows up. We have a front row seat to every single misstep and conflict in our society today and I can only imagine that none of that will change as the years go on. When Owen is faced with all of that and has to make a decision to pass judgment or extend grace I pray that he chooses the latter.
Don’t get me wrong. I know that I must teach Owen to know right from wrong, and to protect himself from the evil of our world. However, I want him to know the balance. I’m not asking him to be best friends with people that will lead him in the wrong direction. Exactly the opposite. I will always try to steer him away from those people and situations that could land him in a dangerous situation. But, how many times did Jesus extend love and offer kindness to the sinners he encountered? Over and over and over. He loved people that I would have had a hard time not judging. He sat and talked and had dinner with people that I would not have wanted to have been in the same room with. He loved people that were uncomfortable to love.
Our world is full of darkness and sin but Jesus came and died on the cross so that all of this would be redeemed one day. Until that day, I pray that my husband, my son, and myself choose to remember that by offering grace and love.
Plain and simple. I’m a sinner, you’re a sinner, the Duggars are sinners and Jesus came to save us all. I am called to love you, Jesus will handle the judgment part. I am so thankful for that.
(Tori is a regular contributor to this blog. Find out more about her here.)