We’ve never had to take our kid’s doors off but I have heard of several parents who have. Although… we still have one child left at home for a couple of years so there’s still time. ha! I honestly think it’s a fairly clever consequence. One that makes a strong impact while skipping the heated argument. Stone cold love. I would also think that the kids would hate it. I certainly would have! This would go along the same lines of changing the password to the wifi. Want a good way to get the to come downstairs? That’s just good parenting right there. I heard Dr. Gary Thomas speak recently. He told a story about a time when one of his children was behind their closed door and wouldn’t answer. Wouldn’t open. So he proceeded to take the door off. Effective. He mentioned that he left it off for a week. But then he realized he couldn’t put it back up on his own. He needed help.
“A door is harder to put back on than it is to take off.” ~Gary Thomas This sentence caught my attention. It wasn’t anything he camped out on. It was a quick sentence that he said and then moved on to the next point. But my brain camped out there for a bit.
I couldn’t help but think that this is how it is with sin and shame? The door really is so easy to take down. The damage so easily done. So many people just choose to leave the door off and continue in their poor choices because it seems too hard to put the door back on or they simply can’t do it by themselves or perhaps the door has been off so long they can’t remember where they put it.
But for those who don’t like the door off, those who want the security and freedom for which the door was intended, those who want to fix it, those who want to put the door back on, you’re going to need to call for help. Because it’s harder to put the door back on than it was to take it off.
We simply aren’t meant to do all of this life business on our own. The good, the bad and the ugly. We need some people. Let me add that we need good people. Any ol’ Joe may know how to put a door back up, but we need someone who will lovingly and skillfully help us put it back on properly. Someone with the right toolbox.
Just like Dr. Thomas’ son not wanting to open the door, sin and shame that stays locked up festers and eventually the door is going to bust off anyway. The adage that “what happens here stays here”? Well, that may work in Vegas but it just doesn’t work out in God’s economy. At least I’ve never seen it work that way. Allow someone to help you pick up your door, gather all the right hardware and tools and help you get your door back on.
If you don’t have someone to help you put your door back on, may I encourage you to try to find someone? Going at this alone is just not good. Even if you think you can handle it alone. Chances are you can’t. A friend, a counselor, a therapist, a pastor, someone. Someone with skin on. We were created for community. We need other people with skin on to journey with us.
Along with your someone(s) with skin on, Jesus is, by far, the best Someone for the job of fixing doors. He has all the best tools and hardware we could ever need. He was a carpenter after all. He probably built a few doors in His day. And well, He IS the door, so… I kinda think He’s qualified.
“I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.” John 10:9
“Find pasture”…. that sounds so nice doesn’t it? When sin is exposed and dealt with and the security of the door is put back in place, we can walk freely in and out of it. We can find pasture. We can lie down in open fields in freedom and peace. So often in the scriptures we are told that being poor and needy are far better than being wealthy and self-sufficient. We are rich when we become poor, we find safety when we admit our neediness and seek help to put our door back on.
Empty. Fill. Repeat.