We’ve never had to take our kid’s doors off but I have heard of several parents who have. Although… we still have one child left at home for a couple of years so there’s still time. ha! I honestly think it’s a fairly clever consequence. One that makes a strong impact while skipping the heated argument. I would also think that the kids would hate it. I certainly would have! This would go along the same lines of changing the password to the wifi. Want a good way to get them to come downstairs?
Dr. Gary Thomas once told a story about a time when one of his children was behind their closed door and wouldn’t answer. Wouldn’t open. So he proceeded to take the door off. Effective. The door remained unhinged for a week. When he went to put it back up, he realized he couldn’t put it back up on his own. He needed help.
“A door is harder to put back on than it is to take off.” ~Gary Thomas This sentence caught my attention. It wasn’t anything he camped out on. It was a quick sentence that he said and then moved on to the next point. But my brain camped out there for a bit.
I couldn’t help but think that this is how it is with sin and shame? The door really is so easy to take down. The damage so easily done. So many people just choose to leave the door off and continue on in their poor choices because it seems too hard to put the door back on or they simply can’t do it by themselves or perhaps the door has been off so long they can’t remember where they put it.
For those who don’t like living unhinged, those who want the security and freedom for which the door was intended, those who want to fix it, those who want to put the door back on, you’re going to need to call for help. Because it’s harder to put the door back on than it was to take it off.
We simply aren’t meant to do all of this life business on our own. The good, the bad and the ugly. We need some people. Let me add that we need good people. Any ole Joe may have the skill set needed to put a door back up, but we need someone who will lovingly and skillfully help us put it back on properly. Someone with the right toolbox.
Just like Dr. Thomas’ son not wanting to open the door, sin, and shame that stays locked up festers and eventually the door is going to bust off anyway. The adage that “what happens here stays here”? Well, that may work in Vegas but it doesn’t work out in real life. At least from my experience.
If you don’t have someone in your life to help you put your door back on, may I encourage you to try to find someone? Walking through pain and struggle alone is not good. Even if you think you can handle it alone, chances are you can’t. A friend, a counselor, a therapist, a pastor, someone. Someone you can trust, someone who loves you, someone with skin on. We were created to be in community. We need other people with skin on to journey with us. We need to walk each other home.
Until you find your someone with skin on, Jesus is, by far, the best Someone for the job of fixing doors. He has all the best tools and hardware we could ever need. He was a carpenter after all. He probably built a few doors in His day. And well, He IS the door, so I think that qualifies Him.
“I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.” John 10:9
“Find pasture”…. that sounds so nice, doesn’t it? When sin is exposed and dealt with and the security of the door is put back in place, we can walk freely in and out of it. We can find pasture. We can lie down in open fields in freedom and peace. So often in the scriptures, we are told that being poor and needy is far better than being wealthy and self-sufficient. We are rich when we become poor, we find safety when we own our need and seek help to put our door back on.
When has someone helped you put your door back on? Have you been that person for someone else?