10,000 Days of Together

My husband, Tommy, and I began our forever life together 10,000 days ago. We stood before God and man professing our love and vowing to do all the things young love tells you that you can. We were not prepared. No one told us how hard it would be or if they did we didn’t listen. Young love rarely listens. That may be a good thing.

Each day represents a choice. 10,000 choices.
Each day represents a story. 10,000 stories.

We weren’t really counting days but each day really counted.

Some days, we made the choice to say “yes” and some days the choice was more of a, “but if you say so”.

In marriage, some days it’s easy to say “yes” to another day together. Some days, when one (or both) choose a “no” (or want to)… those are the days when we need to have a firm “but if you say so” resolve. We can’t base our choice to stay (or not) on feelings. A choice to stay goes way beyond feelings. A choice to stay is a brave one and one that is based on a commitment. Our “but if you say so” resolve needs to be firmly in place before we ever get to that day or that season.

There was a time when in a “but if you say so” season, the feelings weren’t enough to make me want to stay. I wanted out. Out of the pain. Out of the fear. Out of the chaos running rampant through my head and heart. Out of the marriage. While this may be shocking for some to read, it really shouldn’t be. If we’re honest with ourselves, there probably isn’t any marriage that hasn’t encountered these thoughts, feelings and choices. If you had told me I would feel the way I felt before hand, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. If you haven’t experienced this in your marriage, I certainly hope I’m wrong in thinking that everyone goes through this at some point. It’s not the fun part.

I asked God for permission to leave. He didn’t give it. I knew He wouldn’t. I knew that He knew I really didn’t want to. On those days when my flesh wanted out, He told my heart to stay. Not audibly, but in ways so very clear that confirmed it was Him.

God said, “Stay”. I said, “I’d really rather not… but if you say so.”

I was compelled a few years ago to figure out when 10,000 days would be from our wedding day. I’m not even sure why I chose 10,000. My brain wasn’t fully functioning at that time but I grasped for some hope. A goal. Something to help me look forward. I put the date on our calendar. I remember thinking that if I had hope of making it to 10,000 days then maybe I could make it today.

Through all the choices, all the stories, each one of the 10,000 days since that day we joined hands, we made it. The day has come.

10,000 choices.
10,000 stories.
10,000 days.

10,000 days together.

Together is my favorite. As I’ve gone through times that have forced me to understand that the thought of not being together could have been my reality, you are able to truly appreciate together when you have it.

Here’s to 10,001 and beyond! We stand before God and man, professing our love and vowing to do all the things we now know old love tells us we can.

A Page Is Turned, Bebo Norman

Where the God of second chances
Will pick them up and he’ll let them dance
Through a world that is not kind
And all this time, they’re sharing with the one
That holds them up when they come undone
Beneath the storm, beneath the sun
And once again, here you stand
Your day has come

I’m joining this week’s #livefreeThursday writing prompt, “But if you say so…” over at Suzie Eller’s blog.