“Songs” That Women Need to Delete from Their Mental Playlist

I think many thoughts. My brain tends to run on high speed and barrel through my days (and often my nights) like a runaway freight train. My husband can confirm this. Some of my thoughts are good and fine and actually quite brilliant. But many of them are unhealthy.

There are unhealthy messages that have run through my head and heart which I’ve allowed to take up residence and get all nice and comfy. Some of them I have been able to personally serve the eviction notice to but some needed professional help. They had dug in deep and I didn’t even notice that they’d moved in. We often need a trusted friend to help us see the tree in the forest, you know?

Here are a few “songs” that I’ve allowed to sing over my own life that need to be deleted form my mental playlist and a song of truth to replace them with.

I Need to Be Safe
Do you know this tune? This is actually something I’ve struggled with a lot. I feel like I’m probably not alone here. I have often looked to others to make me feel safe. With the help of a wise therapist who was both fierce and kind, I discovered that safety is something we are not promised and will never have the assurance of this side of heaven.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

We aren’t promised safety in this world but we are promised safety in His arms.

I Am Enough
“I am enough” is a message I bought into for years. Too many years. Hook, line, and sinker. It hasn’t been all that long ago that I realized how my soul could be set free by accepting that I am not enough, I never will be and I don’t have to be. Allowing myself to believe that I am enough is a sure setup for failure. Understanding that I’m not enough enables me to set my eyes on Christ and take an honest look at my weaknesses and inabilities. What I find out is that I’m not enough.

I tend to think that when people use the phrase, “I am enough” they have the best of intentions. But I also think they really mean, “I am worth it.” There is a distinction. Yes, we are most definitely worth it. We are most definitely valued. We are most definitely loved. But I believe the “I am enough” message is a tool Satan uses to turn the focus of our hearts onto ourselves taking our focus, even if momentarily, off of Christ, who is the I Am.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (The Message)

Other People Should Make Me Happy
In the spirit of Dr. Seuss,

Not my friends,
Not my kids,
Not my church,
Not my spouse,
Other people can’t make me happy.
Not even a mouse.

With this “song” playing in our playlist, all too often with the volume turned up full blast and on repeat, we are basically saying we expect other humans to be God. This is such an impossible weight for others to bear. They will fail. We will be disappointed. Go ahead and delete this song from your playlist today. Doing so will save you and those you love much grief and anxiety. Trust me, I know.

Also, trust me when I tell you that God is the only One who can ever fully satisfy. His goal is not to make us happy but to make us holy. That process is not so much fun and it may not seem very comforting but He is the only one who will ever be 100% faithful and the only one you will ever need. Everyone else is in our lives is a bonus.

I Need to Do It All & Be It All
Staying busy kills the spirit and threatens to take our bodies down in the process. This message is a tough one to clearly define. The length of task lists varies and the level of busy is different for each of us. So often we use our little pointy finger to judge others in this area but we also see those fingers of others pointing at us and we feel as if we have to measure up. I want to simply encourage you to be you. I want to encourage you to do what you’re meant to do and nothing less. “Rest” should be a line item up at the top of your “to do” list. (Note: Rest is not to be confused with laziness.)

If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy. ~Adrian Rogers

I Have to Be Okay
Oh, what a lie this is and we let it sink in deep. Friends, we do not have to be okay. Can I tell you a secret? Well, it’s not really a secret because I think everybody knows it but for some reason we all seem to disregard it. Here goes… No one is okay. It’s true! Surprised? No, I didn’t think so.

I am such a “suck it up and move on kind of person”. And while “Suck it up, buttercup.” is sometimes necessary for the moment, healing never happens when we brush our issues under the rug. They only get trampled on and and will eventually squish back out.

Being okay with not being okay is important but it doesn’t mean we get to stay there. We need to do our healing work and move forward. But replacing this “I have to be okay” lie with the truth that we don’t have to be okay, at least not right now, affords us the sacred space to grieve and grow.

I am my body and my body is me.
I asked my 18-year-old daughter what messages we women play in our heads that should be eliminated. “I am my body and my body is me.” was her immediate response. “Body standards for women are outrageous!” ~Anna S. I wholeheartedly agree with her. In my experience, and again, I know I’m not alone, the message that “I am my body” surrounds almost every decision we make.

I wholeheartedly agree with her. In my experience, and again, I know I’m not alone, the message that “I am my body” infiltrates almost every decision we make. Ladies, we are more than our bodies. In the words of a Dalek, “Delete. Delete. Delete.” We are more than our weight. We are more than our clothes. We are more than our old lady hands, our freckled skin, our birthing hips (which by the way came in very handy for me 3 times), and our cankles. We should place priority on loving our insides over our outsides. Our appearance will reveal the overflow of our heart.

I admittedly don’t know much about Colbie Caillat so please realize I’m not necessarily endorsing her music as a whole but I am most definitely endorsing this song. My daughter recommended it and when I listened to it, it gave me chills and made my heart smile big. Such a great message!

What “tunes” are on your mental playlist that should be deleted? What songs can you replace them with?

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

My friend, Kelly Smith, at Mrs. Disciple, hosts a Friday link up and the theme for this go-round is “Playlists”. I’m linking this post up with hers and a variety of other great posts along the same theme. I hope you’ll pop on over there and find something that enlightens and encourages you.