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Dear hurting wife, I see you.

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Dear hurting wife, I see you.

Dear hurting wife, I see you.

I see you because I am you.

I see your despair behind those honest but cleverly crafted Facebook posts.

I see your questions because I, too, have questions.

I see your fears for I, too, battle the all-consuming flames.

I see your utter loneliness while standing in the midst of the crowd.

I see the tears you shed quietly in the bathroom because you don’t want the kids to see. For they have seen and also know this pain and sadness. You would have never wished this on your babies. Not in a million years.

I see you sitting on your sofa staring out the window watching for signs of life to flutter by and glimpses of hope to rise in the horizon.

I see you grasping for anything that is true, anything that is real.

I see you longing for someone you can trust.

I see you longing for a friend who “gets it”.

Dear hurting wife, I see you.

I wish I could fix it for you but I can’t. I can’t even offer solutions.

I can only offer hope. Even a glimmer of hope is enough to fan the flame.

Dear hurting wife, this page in your story is a comma, not a period.

Winston Churchill is quoted to have said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Dear hurting wife, keep going.

Tenderly wipe the last tear to make room for the next one, because it’s okay to cry. You won’t cry forever. Even if you end this life with a tear on your face, Jesus promises that He’ll wipe it away Himself. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelations 21:4 NIV

Keep putting one foot in front of the other remembering that two steps forward and one step back still leaves you one step ahead of where you started.

Like winter miraculously turns to spring through the ache of death, and buried seedlings push through barren soil reaching fierce for light, your pain will bear sweet fruit. Those scars on your heart will become the most beautiful flowers in your garden.

Dear hurting wife, I see you.

Because I, too, have been seen.

That friend I longed for, the one who “gets it”, she looked tenderly through my hollow eyes straight down into my shattered soul.

She quietly passed me a note.

It said, “I see you because I’ve been you.”

Dear hurting wife, I see you, because I’ve been you. I am you.

More importantly, so does our Father. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 NIV

Keep going.

Keep breathing.

Keep hoping. “He is before all things, in Him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:17 NIV

Redemption awaits.

Redemption may not bear the image your heart longs for at this moment, but Redemption will come for us all.

In His way.

In His time.

For now, though, just hold on and keep going.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

For further reading, you may find great comfort in Isaiah 54.

In sincerest love,
From one hurting wife to another, to another, to another…

Dear hurting wife, I see you.


This post is a tribute to a dear friend who saw me. She knows who she is. If I tried for all of my life, which I will, I will never be able to thank her enough for the gift of being seen. The very least I can do, now that I am able to see my own scars as beautiful flowers in my garden, is to pay it forward.

Dear hurting wife, consider this my little note to you. May it tenderly reach through your hollow eyes straight down into the depths of your shattered soul. You are not alone.

About Andrea

A stumbling pilgrim and gatherer of stories. Stories about Jesus and how He gave His life for me, sustains me and redeems me ... even though.

16 responses »

  1. Andrea, this is beautiful. I’ve been where you’ve been, and I was so comforted by those brave enough to say, “I see you.” Sharing this on Facebook!

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  2. Beautiful Andrea ❤️

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  3. hisdearlyloveddaughter

    Thank-you Andrea, this was beautiful and very encouraging! God bless!

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  4. Andrea, what beautiful hope you’ve offered here. Thank you for paying it forward to another hurting wife who needs to hear this today. I’m going to do my part to share this to be sure she does.
    Blessings to you!
    Marva | SunSparkleShine

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    • Thank you, Marva! I am saddened by the thought of anyone feeling alone in their pain. I know a blog post is not a replacement for real relationship but it’s at least something I could do.

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  5. That was simply beautiful. I’ve been that hurting wife before….I’ve walked a time I wish I could forget. The scars on my heart are still there, but they’re part of a beautiful redemption story that Has been perfectly penned by my heavenly Husband. You are right, my friend. There is always Hope. And that Hope is more than enough to fan the flame. ❤️

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  6. Angelina Glass

    This is absolutely beautiful and has me in tears. I needed this today. I feel so alone and misunderstood. No one bothers to check in with me and ask if I’m ok. What a beautiful thing that people can find someone that cares enough to say… “I see you” That could change everything for someone.

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    • Dear friend, first I want to tell you that it’s okay to cry. Second, I want to say how sorry I am that you feel so alone. But mostly I want to tell you that God is so near to you right now. His word promises that He is near to the broken-hearted. Psalm 34:18. If no one else around you sees you, please know that your Heavenly Father does. He is enough for you. Take good care of yourself. ~Andrea

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  7. Very beautifully written. A beacon of hope for the hurting. Thank you for your vulnerability!

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  8. courtneybellis

    So, so great, Andrea. Love the Churchill. Love your words.

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