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Category Archives: betrayal

Healing Resources for Betrayed Wives

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Healing Resources for Betrayed Wives

I’ve compiled a listing of trusted resources and information from my personal betrayal trauma healing journey. This is not an exhaustive list by any stretch. I wanted to include a few things mainly for a wife who is at the beginning or early stages of her path to healing. These are all things I needed early on as well as a few newer options that I wish I would have found sooner. A couple of the resources I share have “sexual addiction” in the title or description. While addiction may not be the case in every husband’s story, I found the information in these resources to be beneficial in my healing journey.

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The Difference Between Expectations and Hope

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The Difference Between Expectations and Hope

 

 

 

 

 

Listen to an audio recording of this blog post here:

Disclaimer: I wrote this for a talk I presented to wives healing from marriage betrayal trauma. I am posting it as I gave it for us and others who are on this same journey. However, the crux of the message can apply to everyone who struggles with expectations and longs to find a better way.


Expectation:
a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
Hope: a desire for a certain thing to happen. A feeling of trust.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 NIV

I come by my ability to set high expectations naturally. It was the culture of my family and the church environment I grew up in. Now, whether they did that on purpose or not, I don’t know, I’m guessing they didn’t. But still, placing high expectations on myself and others is in my DNA. Hope, on the other hand, is not something I’m good at. But it is everything I’ve had to learn in order to survive these last few years.

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Pain Prompts a Process (and that’s a good thing!)

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Pain Prompts a Process (and that’s a good thing!)

 

 

 

 

 

Listen to an audio recording of this blog post here:

I’ve spent the bulk of my life doing my level best to avoid pain. I’m simply not a fan of it. The thought of experiencing physical or emotional pain flips my fight or flight switch on in a clock tick. Somehow along the way, I developed super-Spidey senses that alert me to incoming pain and I get busy to head it off at the pass.

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The Day I Got Married

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The Day I Got Married

31 years ago today, on the day I got married, I was 21. There was a lot I didn’t know. A lot! I look back now and can see just how utterly clueless my 21-year-old self was about life, love, and marriage. I’ve heard it said that love is blind and that perhaps it’s good that it is for no one would ever marry.

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Self-Care is Self-Love: Following the Path to Loving Yourself Well

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Self-Care is Self-Love: Following the Path to Loving Yourself Well

One of the best things I’ve done in seasons of healing is to follow the path. If healing is my goal, which it is, I don’t want to leave any stone unturned. If it’s going to be painful, which it will be, I want to do everything in my power to learn what I need to learn in an effort to keep history from repeating itself.

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Psalm 51: A Betrayed Wife’s Prayer for Her Husband

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Psalm 51: A Betrayed Wife’s Prayer for Her Husband

You might be wondering why I am praying for my husband who chose to betray our marriage covenant. Honestly, sometimes I wonder the same thing.

Max Lucado’s writes in his book, Anxious for Nothing, “The path to peace is paved with prayer.” In these days of utter turmoil, peace sounds very very good.

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There’s always more to the story.

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There’s always more to the story.

Dear friends and family,

You know how “they” say, “there’s always more to the story?” Well, if I didn’t believe that before (which I did), I certainly do now.

There’s no easy way to tell you this except to just spit it out.

Due to the recent discovery of my husband’s sinful choices, he and I have entered into a season of therapeutic separation. Our marriage is very broken. I’m sure many of you are stunned but no one could be more stunned than I.

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And The Ballerina Falls

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And The Ballerina Falls

I’m sharing a piece I wrote for Rebecca Bender Ministries, a ministry which exists to “raise awareness and deliver solutions to the growing epidemic of sex trafficking”. I pray that your heart hasn’t ever been dropped but chances are it has. I pray you can find hope in Jesus. “He was born in an unassuming manger to die on a cross intended for criminals. To fix what had been broken. To save the dance.”

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