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Bridging Transitions – Part Seven {In Loss}

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Bridging Transitions  – Part Seven {In Loss}

By Georgette Beck

What is transition? Merriam-Webster defines transition as a “passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another” and as it relates to music; “a musical passage leading from one section of a piece to another.”

No one is exempt from experiencing transition. Growth occurs from a transition in all realms of our life. We progress through mental and physical development as we pass through the various stages of our lives.  We transition from losses suffered and from blessings gained. Transition in and of itself is not meant to be a bad experience. The transition is a necessary component of what comes next.

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Bridging Transitions – Part 6 {Living in Truth}

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Bridging Transitions – Part 6 {Living in Truth}

Carolyn is a truth teller. I remember when she told me that my decision to pursue emotional health could cost me an awful lot. She wasn’t lying. She warned me that it could get ugly and that I had to be completely sure I had counted the cost. We talked about how desperately someone who struggles with narcissism requires a codependent partner. We discussed what the journey could typically look like. We talked about how me making the decision to stand in my truth meant I would have to let the Lord fight for me. We talked about how hard that would be. We talked about how my decision to chase emotional health would require my husband to do the same. OR it could very well mean that if he did not join the party, he could choose to bounce altogether. She held nothing back. I knew what was on the line. So, I pondered. For about 2 minutes before I confidently declared that I was ready.

My codependency had already been exposed. I had already acknowledged my ugly and had called it like it was. It was too late to go back. After months of research and self-diagnosis, I had uncovered some significant issues that I had disguised well. I knew if I had any hope at all of ever living in peace, I would need to go to war with myself. So, I armored up. I battled.

The battleground was familiar. I had been there before, many times through the years. I had been there in many relationships, both romantic and not. I had gotten very good at enabling, fixing, covering, rescuing, and stuffing. It was clear the armor had to change.

I had to stand in truth.

Boldly.

Completely exposed.

I had to watch as someone I loved dearly made choice after choice to turn away. I had to watch my family crumble and there was absolutely nothing more I could do to save it. So, I stood still. I allowed Jesus to fight for me. I didn’t rescue or cover or fix anything that wasn’t mine to own. And boy, did Jesus expose the kinds of truth that only He could. That’s the thing about Him.

God is Truth. He can’t be hidden. In the end, it is all blown wide open-whether you like it or not. (tweet this)

 

What I learned in that time of transition was that I could trust Him. Like, on a for real level. Not that Christian cliche´-ish type “trust Him”. I had to lay my head on my pillow each night knowing I couldn’t even defend myself to my own children. I had to earnestly believe that He would keep His promises. That the Lord would fight for me, I only had to be still. Just like in Exodus 14:14. I had everything I held dear to lose. LITERALLY. Yet, I couldn’t fight for it the way I had been fighting for my whole life. It was foreign and new. It was a whole new world to completely trust outside of myself.

It was an intense realization to sit back and evaluate how deep I was living in deception for so long. Even worse than that, it was a deception I had helped create. Not intentionally, but from a very genuine heart in pursuit of the things of God. It took the better part of two years to read, examine, expose my heart to a Biblical Counselor, attend Celebrate Recovery religiously, and research just how desperately wrong I was getting it. It was humbling and hard. It is a heartbreaking journey to transition from a woman who carried the weight of the world on her shoulders and called herself strong to a woman who walked in weakness, yet in complete freedom -resting in the sweet, tender arms of Jesus -as she became the fiercest warrior her world had ever seen.

So, here I am. Still standing in truth almost 3 years after this journey of healthy transition began. Having spent a whole year recovering from the kind of loss I never imagined experiencing.

Completely broken, yet perfectly held together.

Walking in weakness, yet stronger than I have ever been.

Deeply exposed, yet safer than yesterday.

Looking in the mirror and seeing the reflection of a warrior.

 

 

*This post originally appeared on Giggles, Laundry, and the Cross and is shared with the author’s permission.

 

Marie JacksonMarie is a single mom. She has eight children. Her kiddos range in age from a 24-year-old (who was recently married) to twin 3rd graders. She gave birth to four of her children and gained the other four through the gift of adoption. Her beautifully, chaotic home is in Reno, NV. Marie works for her church leading the children’s ministry. She is passionate about children and families. Her heart’s desire is to encourage women of all ages with love and truth.

Marie was raised by a mentally ill mother and a grandma who is head over heels for her savior. She knows the value of encouraging words and what it looks like to fight for someone you love.

Marie is in love with Jesus and cute shoes. Coffee is her beverage of choice and she can make a mean dish of enchiladas. No dish is ever the same, because she never follows a recipe, and don’t ever ask her to bake ANYTHING. She is a Netflix binger and can still belt out all of the words to Rappers Delight. She never passes up an opportunity to chat about parenting, crafts, or sex. She is addicted to Bikram Yoga and loves to hike the Sierra Nevada’s. She worries too much and laughs at all of her own jokes. Her life is messy, but it’s beautiful.

She’s a giggle lovin’, laundry hating, Savior needing girl, trying to keep all the pieces together. Read more from Marie at Giggles, Laundry, and the Cross.

Bridging Transitions Marie Jackson

Read more from this series:

Bridging Transitions – Part One by Andrea Stunz

Bridging Transitions – Part Two by Dana Herndon

Bridging Transitions – Part Three by Courtney Ellis

Bridging Transitions – Part Four by Ellie

Bridging Transitions – Part Five by Andrea Stunz

Bridging Transitions – Part Four {Working Transitions)

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Bridging Transitions – Part Four {Working Transitions)

Picture it- 10 am on a Thursday morning. Most people my age, somewhere between no longer young and senior citizen, are at work. Not me. I’m sitting on my back deck wrapped in a blanket and drinking coffee.

It probably looks relaxing, and it is. The sounds of nature on a cool morning are a great way to start a day, but there are things no one can see- the blinding pain in my right hip, or the waves of nausea and dizziness. The only thing visible about my many illnesses is the weird walk my hip has given me and the falls from the dizziness. There are many more symptoms. So many that it breaks my heart, but they just sit there silently torturing me. Invisible.

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Bridging Transitions – Part Three {Giving Birth}

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Bridging Transitions – Part Three {Giving Birth}

I don’t usually yell at my husband. I’m not a yeller. But in this instance, I was screaming my head off just inches from his ear.

“WHY IS NO ONE HELPING ME? I NEED SOME HELP!”

Daryl patted my arm and looked around in dismay.

“It’s transition,” mouthed one of the nurses. “This is totally normal.”

I’m one of those crunchy-hippie-granola folks who willingly chooses natural birth. It’s funny because I’m not that much of a hippie in real life. I wear black pencil skirts to work and I eat way more Skittles than granola.

But birth I do the natural way.

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Bridging Transitions – Part Two {No More Littles}

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Bridging Transitions – Part Two {No More Littles}

It hit me the other day that I am no longer the mom of littles.

I guess the fact that 2/3 of my children are taller than me, my oldest is driving and preparing for college, my middle child will be in high school next year, my youngest spends time with friends on her own should have clued me in.

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Hearts At the Table: When Empathy Evaporates Shame by Terri Fullerton

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Hearts At the Table: When Empathy Evaporates Shame by Terri Fullerton

When I think about all of the adventurous dining experiences I’ve had it brings me a smile that fills my soul and makes my taste buds (and sometimes my whole body) do a little jig. My global food adventures have brought me countless wonderful and exciting memories. Since my memories are so positive, I assumed that everyone else would crave the same experiences. I never once stopped to think about how others might not be so keen to take their taste buds on a road trip. Until I sat across the table in a French cafe from my dear friend, Terri, in England.

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Identity: Lost and Found {A Guest Post by Ruth Campos}

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Identity: Lost and Found {A Guest Post by Ruth Campos}

Please welcome Ruth to the table as she shares a bit of her story. Be sure to hop over to her blog, Planted By Living Water, to read more of her writing. She has been such an encouragement to me and I know she will be to you as well. It is such an honor to have you here, Ruth!

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Grieving Losses: Name it. Claim it. Grieve it.

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Grieving Losses: Name it. Claim it. Grieve it.

I wrote about grieving losses for a friend’s blog recently, For the Love of Dixie. She has an entire series going from different writers with different perspectives from different stories, all of which give us Permission to Grieve. So often we don’t know what grief should look like much less feel like we have the permission to work it out. If we love, we will grieve. Simple as that. It’s a process, for sure, but one that is not without hope.

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Fighting the Battle with the Chronically Ill

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Fighting the Battle with the Chronically Ill

I had the honor of sharing over at Chronically Whole recently. I highly recommend this site for anyone who is battling chronic disease or loves someone who does. In this article I share, from the bystander’s vantage point, stories of three brave disease-fighting warriors whom I know and love. I also share some tips on what those of us can do to love on and fight with them.

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Dear Future Daughter In Law – A Guest Post by Julie Presley

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Dear Future Daughter In Law – A Guest Post by Julie Presley

Welcome my new friend, blogger and author, Julie Presley! We “bumped” into each other in cyberland, introduced by a mutual friend, and I couldn’t be more grateful. She is the author of the Christian romance novel, Stones of Remembrance, which I have read, devoured and loved and she has a new book coming out sometime this year. Her heart is for women to experience freedom in Christ-centered romance but the biggest piece of her heart is dedicated to her family, her husband and their two sons, as you will see as you read her words. Thank you, Julie, for sharing with us here at EPFH. You can find more of Julie’s writings at JuliePresley.com. Subscribe to her mailing list and keep up with news about her upcoming novel.)

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