I’m beyond proud to introduce you to our youngest daughter, Anna. She has graciously agreed to offer her honest perspective on how she is approaching Christmas this year with her two older siblings being married. There are 6 years between her and our middle child so as our nest empties she gets the good and the bad parts of being the “only child” now. You can imagine my mom pride as I share this piece with you. Please help me welcome my most beautiful and favorite baby girl, Anna.
Category Archives: reflection
“But God, this is not fair.” “But God, I don’t want to.” “But God, I can’t.” “But God, this is too hard.” “But God, what if they don’t love me back?” “But God, I don’t have time for this.” “But God, I’m so tired.”
Have you ever thought about what you would tell your younger self now that you’re not your younger self anymore? What would you tell her to do differently? What would you encourage her to do the same?
I recently had the honor of guest posting on a friends blog, Mrs. Disciple, about what I would tell my 6 year old self, my 16 year old self and myself on my wedding day. It was a challenge to write but it was fun to look back over my life and think about how I wished I would have danced more.
I hope this encourages someone else’s younger self to dance more. To live more. I’ve still got progress to make in this area but last time I checked, my dance card appears to still have some empty lines.
Dancing is like dreaming with your feet. ~Constanz
Dear 6 year old self,
When you twirl around in your new (or new to you) Sunday dress and let your skirt catch so much air that your panties show, stretch out your arms and tilt back your head in reckless abandon and twirl. Smile and laugh and breathe all of that joy right in. One day the world will try to tell you to stop dancing, to stop twirling, but for now, TWIRL! Even though you’re a little shy, go ahead and twirl. Maybe you can’t twirl in front of others, but at least go in your room and close your door and twirl. Have fun! Try hard to block out all of those voices that tell you to act a certain way, to fit in, to use boring colors, to stop dancing. Except maybe at some point wear shorts under your cute little dress because showing your panties will become sort of socially unacceptable at some point.
P.S. You won’t always wear knee socks with your dresses and have bad haircuts. Promise.
“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”” ~Matthew 19:14
This quote is written on the front of the journal from which this entry comes. Six days before my 44th birthday and I am asking myself just what is the life I imagine? Do I even imagine? I’m sure I do! There are times when I feel great discontentment and times when I’m filled with tremendous gratitude.
From my almost 44 years, what I know is this:
1. Investing emotionally in people is exhausting but it brings richness into my life.
2. Very few people reach out to me as far as initiating or maintain relationship, however, the few that do I treasure deeply and I feel it is of great importance to me to continue to reach out even if there is not reaching back. I’ll do this for a long time because I actually do care but then I will stop because apparently they really don’t.
3. The time I have spent investing in my children has been so precious and I wouldn’t change it, not even the hard times as they have lead to growth.
4. I am a people pleaser but have found great freedom in acting from my heart motives and then not taking personally or caring if they choose to act in a negative way. That’s their problem.
5. I have little tolerance for negativity if your glass is always empty you need to fill it up and quit dumping it out on everyone, no one and nothing is perfect, get over it.
6. The grass can be greener on the other side of the fence, but the green in my grass is mine to nurture, appreciate, and share.
7. Share! I love to share…. myself, my time, my knowledge, and my possessions.
8. I really like it when you share with me.
9. Flawed~ That’s how I describe myself, flawed.
10. There is no shame in being flawed the shame is in trying to cover it up.
11. My relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in my life, it becomes more so every day.
12. I desire to be disciplined and consistent.
13. I love new ideas, things, projects.
14. The road to simplicity is long, slow and hard for me because I love new.
15. I tend to be able to read people well
16. I tend to be judgmental because I read people.
17. I self-protect and eventually will put up a wall that you will not get through
18. Taking time for myself is hard, I would much rather be serving you.
19. I know that in order to stay healthy I must have alone time.
20. I have the most amazing husband! Go ahead and be jealous.
21. Knowing, understanding and talking about ideas is much easier than applying them.
22. Babies are fascinating.
23. I can not spell and I’m terrible at grammar, but I love to write.
24. I’m drawn to a well made, cute pair of shoes and have a few too many in my closet.
25. I like things to be clean and organized, but my drawers, pantry, closets and fridge are messy.
26. I wonder what that says about me.
27. Home schooling my boys has been a joy and privilege I will treasure forever.
28. Kids can be trained and molded to a certain point then it’s best to allow them to be who they are.
29. There is no box that fits me, I refuse to get in.
30. I will vote based on my knowledge and how I feel. If you don’t like it then don’t vote that way.
31. Food! Food is very important to me, I love to prepare it and share it.
32. Good friends, family and conversation around a table of food is one of my favorite things.
33. A lot of people appear to be boring until you take the time to get to know them.
34. Most people ARE better than me. I love to be inspired by them.
35. Babies almost never sleep when you want them to.
36. Teenagers know everything so just ask them.
37. Kids have amazing ideas – take the time to listen.
38. Most of our problems are self-created. Making different decisions and changing self-talk is life changing.
39. Money DOES NOT buy happiness or contentment – that comes from within.
40. Everyone has an opinion I love to surround myself with differing opinions = self-growth.
41. The Bible is truth I stand on. If the idea or concept or opinion goes against Gods Word you have no chance of convincing me.
42. I am the biggest, ugliest sinner in the room, I do strive to be better.
43. A life focused on self is depressing.
44. As Thoreau says, living the life I’ve imagined can be good but only if my motives are pure.