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Bridging Transitions – Part 6 {Living in Truth}

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Bridging Transitions – Part 6 {Living in Truth}

Carolyn is a truth teller. I remember when she told me that my decision to pursue emotional health could cost me an awful lot. She wasn’t lying. She warned me that it could get ugly and that I had to be completely sure I had counted the cost. We talked about how desperately someone who struggles with narcissism requires a codependent partner. We discussed what the journey could typically look like. We talked about how me making the decision to stand in my truth meant I would have to let the Lord fight for me. We talked about how hard that would be. We talked about how my decision to chase emotional health would require my husband to do the same. OR it could very well mean that if he did not join the party, he could choose to bounce altogether. She held nothing back. I knew what was on the line. So, I pondered. For about 2 minutes before I confidently declared that I was ready.

My codependency had already been exposed. I had already acknowledged my ugly and had called it like it was. It was too late to go back. After months of research and self-diagnosis, I had uncovered some significant issues that I had disguised well. I knew if I had any hope at all of ever living in peace, I would need to go to war with myself. So, I armored up. I battled.

The battleground was familiar. I had been there before, many times through the years. I had been there in many relationships, both romantic and not. I had gotten very good at enabling, fixing, covering, rescuing, and stuffing. It was clear the armor had to change.

I had to stand in truth.


Completely exposed.

I had to watch as someone I loved dearly made choice after choice to turn away. I had to watch my family crumble and there was absolutely nothing more I could do to save it. So, I stood still. I allowed Jesus to fight for me. I didn’t rescue or cover or fix anything that wasn’t mine to own. And boy, did Jesus expose the kinds of truth that only He could. That’s the thing about Him.

God is Truth. He can’t be hidden. In the end, it is all blown wide open-whether you like it or not. (tweet this)


What I learned in that time of transition was that I could trust Him. Like, on a for real level. Not that Christian cliche´-ish type “trust Him”. I had to lay my head on my pillow each night knowing I couldn’t even defend myself to my own children. I had to earnestly believe that He would keep His promises. That the Lord would fight for me, I only had to be still. Just like in Exodus 14:14. I had everything I held dear to lose. LITERALLY. Yet, I couldn’t fight for it the way I had been fighting for my whole life. It was foreign and new. It was a whole new world to completely trust outside of myself.

It was an intense realization to sit back and evaluate how deep I was living in deception for so long. Even worse than that, it was a deception I had helped create. Not intentionally, but from a very genuine heart in pursuit of the things of God. It took the better part of two years to read, examine, expose my heart to a Biblical Counselor, attend Celebrate Recovery religiously, and research just how desperately wrong I was getting it. It was humbling and hard. It is a heartbreaking journey to transition from a woman who carried the weight of the world on her shoulders and called herself strong to a woman who walked in weakness, yet in complete freedom -resting in the sweet, tender arms of Jesus -as she became the fiercest warrior her world had ever seen.

So, here I am. Still standing in truth almost 3 years after this journey of healthy transition began. Having spent a whole year recovering from the kind of loss I never imagined experiencing.

Completely broken, yet perfectly held together.

Walking in weakness, yet stronger than I have ever been.

Deeply exposed, yet safer than yesterday.

Looking in the mirror and seeing the reflection of a warrior.



*This post originally appeared on Giggles, Laundry, and the Cross and is shared with the author’s permission.


Marie JacksonMarie is a single mom. She has eight children. Her kiddos range in age from a 24-year-old (who was recently married) to twin 3rd graders. She gave birth to four of her children and gained the other four through the gift of adoption. Her beautifully, chaotic home is in Reno, NV. Marie works for her church leading the children’s ministry. She is passionate about children and families. Her heart’s desire is to encourage women of all ages with love and truth.

Marie was raised by a mentally ill mother and a grandma who is head over heels for her savior. She knows the value of encouraging words and what it looks like to fight for someone you love.

Marie is in love with Jesus and cute shoes. Coffee is her beverage of choice and she can make a mean dish of enchiladas. No dish is ever the same, because she never follows a recipe, and don’t ever ask her to bake ANYTHING. She is a Netflix binger and can still belt out all of the words to Rappers Delight. She never passes up an opportunity to chat about parenting, crafts, or sex. She is addicted to Bikram Yoga and loves to hike the Sierra Nevada’s. She worries too much and laughs at all of her own jokes. Her life is messy, but it’s beautiful.

She’s a giggle lovin’, laundry hating, Savior needing girl, trying to keep all the pieces together. Read more from Marie at Giggles, Laundry, and the Cross.

Bridging Transitions Marie Jackson

Read more from this series:

Bridging Transitions – Part One by Andrea Stunz

Bridging Transitions – Part Two by Dana Herndon

Bridging Transitions – Part Three by Courtney Ellis

Bridging Transitions – Part Four by Ellie

Bridging Transitions – Part Five by Andrea Stunz

Name That Fear! – Five Fears And How I (try to) Face Them

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Name That Fear! – Five Fears And How I (try to) Face Them

I happen to own a mind that is filled with fears and doubts and a frenzy of thoughts that need to be reigned in and quenched like an uncontained mental wildfire.

Read the rest of this entry

Thursday’s Truth – It Could Be Worse

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No matter how bad our day is, our month, our year, our life… it could be worse.


Over my years and through my personal struggles, God has always been faithful to give me perspective. Even if I didn’t ask for it. But most of the time I did. I don’t take pleasure in knowing that someone is worse off than me. Not at all and quite the contrary. It brings me comfort to know that someone has gone through “it” and is still surviving. Still putting one foot in front of the other and stumbling forward.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

No one ever promises us that we will not have trouble, that life will be easy. In fact, we are told that we will have trouble and life will be hard. Even if you aren’t a Believer unless you had ridiculously optimistic parents, we are raised to know that we will face adversity in life. And if you had great parents, you were taught how to work through those adversities. But often an adversity comes that we just weren’t taught how to navigate. Didn’t expect. Didn’t choose. Didn’t want. And it’s bigger than big. Bigger than life. Consuming.

We humans are quite resilient. Our hearts can take on so much and still keep ticking as long as we have hope. You know this to be true because you’ve lived it. I’m sure you have. If you’re reading this, your heart is still ticking and you know what hope looks like. Maybe a glimmer of hope, maybe a truck load but we all know hope. We all have. How resilient are we anyway? To answer that question, look around you today.

Have you ever seen the movie Date Night? The Fosters, played by Steve Carell and Tina Fey, and  are sitting at dinner playing “What’s the story?”, guessing the stories of those at tables around them. The problem with that is that they’re guessing. That has very little to do with perspective, but I use it as an illustration (maybe a bit lame but hey, I’m only on my first cuppa so just go with it) that we should take our eyes off of ourselves for a minute and look around. Look around and get involved with someone else’s story. Not their pretend story but their real story. Look around and get out of your own for just a few. Man, we can get so bogged down in our own muck, can’t we? All too often we can’t see beyond the end of our nose.

In my moments of being consumed by my adversities, some days God has put perspective right smack in my face but most days I have to pay attention and be looking for it. It could be the sweet face of one of our sponsor girls in Kenya. Talk about perspective. It could be having to strap my own kid into a full upper body prison of plastic and metal before bed while I go curl up in my comfortable bed to sleep. Perspective. It could be that couple who has walked through hell and back in their relationship or is walking through hell to get back but they made it or they aren’t giving up. That’s perspective. It could be knowing that right now, all over the world and right “down the street from me”, young women and girls are being forced to do things they probably didn’t choose to do with their lives and bodies. All the while I sit in my comfortable and air conditioned living room with our two dogs napping peacefully, sipping my coffee in peace and typing this up on my MacBook laptop with my feet propped up. Yeah, perspective. 

My problems just don’t seem so huge when perspective is in play. Not that my problems, your problems, aren’t problems. Not that they aren’t very real and not that they still don’t need to be dealt with, but our problems just aren’t so overwhelming and hopeless when we see them through the lens of perspective.

Be joyful in hope, patient in

How do we get to the place where we can be patient in affliction?

A big plate of perspective with a generous side of gratitude.

This is one of those times when I tell you that I’m not rockin’ the whole be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful bit. But can we lift each other up today? Offer each other a helping of our own perspectives? You pray for me and I’ll pray for you sort of deal? Can we lean into to the one who has promised us that He has overcome the world?

I sure HOPE so…


What is your perspective today? Please share in the comments. Let’s encourage one another.

Thursday’s Truth

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The truth is….

I don’t have it figured out. I wish I did. But I don’t.

I don’t know how I feel about some cultural issues that are getting hit hard in our media today. I don’t know how I feel about how the Church should be responding. I don’t know how I feel about some public figures these days. Are they being brave or are they being brash? I just don’t know… I don’t know how I feel about why I am the way I am. I don’t know how I feel about my past. I don’t know how I feel about my present and I certainly don’t know how I feel about my future. I don’t know how much to write or say or do. Am I just adding to the noise? I don’t know if this or that relationship will last.

I. Don’t. Know. 

When the truths of what I don’t know eludes me, I have to fall back on the truths of what I do know. I don’t have it figured out and it’s not up to me to figure it out.

Because I do know what I know.

~ I do know that I am not alone.

“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

~ I do know that I don’t have to have it all figured out. And I’m trying to let God convince me that I don’t have to have it all figured out. I suppose I’m a slow learner. But I do know that I’m learning. And I do know that I’m not a quitter.

Understand later

I’m kind of banking on this ^ being true.

~ I do know that I should probably just sit tight. Stay in it. Stay at it. “Then Jesus turned to the Jews who had claimed to believe in him. “If you stick with this, living out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you.” John 8:32

~ I do know that I need to let God help me work through the truths of what I don’t understand rather than trying to go at it myself because doing it myself never seems to work out quite like I had imagined.

One thing we are guaranteed in life is that our plans
will not work out like we planned.

Onward… in truth.


To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. ~William Shakespeare