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Tag Archives: love

How can I know my spouse loves me?

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How can I know my spouse loves me?

My husband and I have attended countless marriage conferences and retreats. We have participated in, led, and even preached a slew of marriage studies and sermons over the years. I am also well-versed in the 5 Love Languages and I do appreciate them for their practical application of showing love to one another. I tell you all of this not to boast but to explain that while those were all good things, they weren’t enough. But when the bottom dropped out of my 30-year marriage and everything was measured with distrust, my heart longed for a deeper understanding of how I might know my husband loves me. I was reaching for a handle that could help me distinguish between the expression of love and what love actually is.

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Love is a verb, not a day.

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Love is a verb, not a day.

In the earlier years of our marriage, Valentine’s Day (aka Love Day) loomed in the horizon when the calendar flipped from January to February. We waited for the day clunking aimlessly around with our unspoken and residual unmet expectations. For years, we bought into the commercialization of the day. The 15th of February came with sadness, disappointment and hurt. Our “Love Day” wasn’t always a flop but I must say that chocolate was sometimes one of the few things that turned out right. Can you relate?

My husband and I have been married for nearly three decades. Over these years, we’ve learned a thing or two from the truest form of dumb luck, some things from wise counsel and even more from the school of hard knocks. Throughout the years and tears, one thing we have learned is that love is a verb, not a day.

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Love Is Stronger Than Death

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Love Is Stronger Than Death

“Love Is Stronger Than Death”

This phrase is written on a memorial marker at Christchurch Cathedral in Oxford. I wasn’t able to write much over the Easter season due to travel and adventures. For me, it was a time of living stories rather than writing about them. It’s never too late to ponder on the greatest sacrifice of all time. Jesus’ death and resurrection… it’s a timeless love story.

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We Kissed Anyway (and it wasn’t Valentine’s Day)

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We Kissed Anyway (and it wasn’t Valentine’s Day)

I’m going to be honest with you (as I always am). This picture wasn’t taken on Valentine’s Day. I don’t know the exact day but this picture was taken in the hardest season (not exaggerating) our marriage has ever endured. I look back at it with wonder.

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